Bleach: Fissure
by ChangeYourLife
Summary: Yuzu witnesses a crushing rejection of Ichigo by Rukia just as he's losing his shinigami powers, and decides to take matters into her own hands. As her once innocent brother complex becomes forbidden love, she'll find out just how difficult a path her feelings have taken her on.
1. Chapter 1

The events of this story directly tie in to another story of mine called "Bleach: Lost My Pieces"

I've been wanting to put this together to explain the backstory behind Yuzu's strange actions in my other writing.

To those of you just picking this up, I hope you enjoy.

And to those of you who have started reading my other story, I hope this clears some things up :}

* * *

**Bleach: Fissure**

* * *

"Ichigo… I'm…"

"It's not like I haven't thought this through, Rukia."

"You-"

"-I'm not just saying this half-heartedly so don't give me that look."

"Ichigo, I understand. I'm not saying your feelings aren't genuine… "

"But you don't feel the same. I get it."

_A long pause._

"I'm sorry, Ichigo-"

"-It was my mistake. Forget all of this."

"…But you're upset."

"Shut up."

"Ichigo, you're very important to me, and there is a special bond between us-"

"-A rejection speech."

"Ichigo!-"

"-I said I get it. My powers are fading quickly. I guess this is the appropriate time for that, huh? I won't ever be seeing you again, so it's fine, right?"

"I-In the future you'll forget about all of this, and there are very special people in your life who will be able to do more for you than I can…"

"Rukia, Let's just go. I'm tired of talking. Everyone's waiting."

"I'm….very sorry…Ichigo…"

_Ichi-nii…_

_What an awful feeling that must be…_

_I've never seen his face like that._

_Kuchiki-san…_

_All of this time, you had to have known. Why did you have keep coming into his life?_

_You kept coming back here, like you wanted something._

_Even I was sure that in the end…You two-_

**And then, he saw me. Out of the blue he turned to me.**

**I guess I wasn't expecting him to look back, but we made eye contact. I couldn't move or act like I had just gotten there.**

**He knew I had heard everything.**

**The tears had just begun to trail down my cheeks. **

**It had nothing to do with me, but I felt it all.**

**How heartbroken he was.**

_**I hated how your face looked back then. You looked the same way when we lost mom. **_

_**Like it was all your fault.**_

_**And to think, you were just starting to smile again. Was it because of her to begin with?**_

_**Rukia..**_

_**How could you do that to my Onii-chan?**_

_**He protected you. **_

_**He put his life in danger to save you. **_

_**Why would you do that?**_

_**He's protected all of us. This whole town… If it weren't for Ichi-nii… **_

_**..And now.. **_

_**All he gets is his feelings rejected.**_

_**By you. **_

_**No way.**_

**I'm not going to allow that. **

**I won't stand to the side and let that happen again.**

**I'll protect Onii-chan like he's always protected me.**

**I won't let anyone hurt you the way she did.**

_**Even if that means…**_

…_**Yes. That's how it will have to be.**_

_**Ichigo…**_

_**If I can make you have eyes for me. I can protect you.**_

**I won't let you fall for anyone else.**

* * *

Fissure.

* * *

_**It's been over a year since that day.**_

_**And on this day…**_

"Yuzu!"

"I-I'm sorry!"

"Are you serious? What the hell?"

"I know I'm sorry!" I whimpered, unable to keep my voice from wavering.

Ichigo's confused expression hung over me as I struggled to look him in the eyes.

_But what was that?_

_It couldn't have been…_

"Yuzu, explain what the hell you were thinking?" Ichigo demanded, his voice cracking slightly.

_It's my imagination._

"I just…" I choked, struggling to make my voice audible. "Y-You and Rukia….I…"

"Rukia?" Ichigo repeated, "Rukia and I what?"

_No.._

"It's because I w-wanted t-to make you happy."

My voice was coming out in a whisper, and I couldn't help myself.

**I've kissed my brother.**

"That has nothing to do with you." Ichigo said darkly, his eyes piercing me with a determined expression. "What you just did was uncalled for. What the heck do you think doing this is going to prove?"

"I…" was my shrill response before my voice cut out.

_**It's been over a year since that day.**_

_**Have I really gotten nowhere?**_

_**No, things have changed since then. Ever since I vowed to make Ichigo happy again. **_

_**Every chance I got, I'd do something. If I could make him the food he wanted for dinner, I'd do it. If I could clean his room while he was away, I'd clean it. If there was any chore at all I could do for him…**_

_**Anything at all…**_

…_**Has he still not noticed me?**_

"What is it?" He asked impatiently as I let my words hang in the air. "You're being weird."

_**But even still…**_

_**Even though I just kissed my own brother.**_

_**A…kiss between siblings that lasted a moment…**_

"Why won't you notice me?" I asked softly, causing Ichigo to watch me with a peculiar expression.

"Yuzu, enough." Ichigo said cautiously. "It's gone too far."

The tears started to fall, and I could only think of how pathetic I must have looked as he watched me. My body was shaking as I stood in my room with him, feeling my stomach turn with uneasiness.

_**In that small instant that it lasted, what was that expression he had?**_

_**It was surprise at first…**_

_**But then…**_

Ichigo watched me sobbing with a conflicted expression, scanning me as if I was some new breed of animal.

I cast my gaze down to my shoes, as my sobbing grew louder.

The tears blurred my vision.

_**Don't look at me like that. I know there is something wrong with me.**_

_**It's because for a year I've started it again. Admiring you like I used to.**_

_**But this time it's not as simple as back then…**_

Suddenly I felt myself being pulled forward.

"It's because I was an idiot." Ichigo muttered as he embraced me.

My heart hammered in my chest almost painfully as I felt his arms encircle me.

"Don't cry over this kind of thing." He continued, as he put my head to his chest in a comforting manner. "I should have known I was being foolish. Chasing after her like a dumbass. Don't feel sorry for me, Yuzu. I don't deserve any sympathy. Seeing you cry like this is painful. Cute girls shouldn't…"

His voice trailed off, and I felt him tighten his hold on me.

I stood there leaning into him with a numb feeling, analyzing every sentence.

"I-I only wanted to m-make you smile again." I said weakly, sniffling.

"Then don't do put me in this kind of situation." He said simply. "It's hard enough when you devote so much time being nice to me. You try too hard."

I felt my stomach jolt again at the words, deciphering the depth of their meaning.

_**What do you mean by that?**_

_**Don't put you in this kind of situation?**_

_**Ichi-nii… That sounds like you…**_

_**No. I won't pretend like you didn't mean what it sounded like you meant.  
**_

_**This feeling...  
**_

_**The way you're embracing me...  
**_

_**It has to be...  
**_

"And you kissing me that way-"

His voice cut off abruptly.

The mood suddenly changed.

"You have to stop this, Yuzu." He said tiredly as his entire demeanor shifted. "What's the matter? Are you doing this because you want my attention?"

He unraveled his arms from around me and took a precise step back toward door of my room, watching the staircase intensely.

I looked up at him, my brow furrowing in confusion.

"No..I-I mean, yes..But I-" I stammered, struggling to understand the sudden change of the atmosphere.

"-Well, you don't have to get it like this, this is disturbing. It's not natural." He said exasperated, still staring down the stairs.

I stepped around him out into the hallway, eager to see what was capturing his attention.

On the middle of the staircase stood Karin.

I watched her raise an eyebrow at me, looking unsure of what she was witnessing.

_**And it would come down to this.**_

I spun back around to Ichigo who returned my gaze with a plain expression.

_**Being honest with myself…**_

"So you hated it? When I kissed you?" I demanded as I searched his eyes desperately.

**_Even if he wont admit it._**

_**I saw what I needed.**_

"If you just want my attention, ask for it properly, don't do things like this, please?" He said, completely emotionless.

I watched him trot down the stairs past Karin and disappear around the corner.

My heart was racing.

_**It was all there.**_

_**Just a moment ago.  
**_

_**For over a year I've been hoping for even the slightest change.  
**_

_**As much as it was an impossibility…**_

_**Even though it's taboo…**_

**On this day…**

_**In the barrier of impossibility, a crack had formed.**_

* * *

_****_To be continued...


	2. Bleach: Fissure Tension

Hello everyone. Felt like taking a break from my other story, although the newest chapter is half-way done. But in the meantime, more Yuzu/Ichigo to progress the story._  
_

Enjoy.

_Dear Ichigo,_

_I know it's really silly for me to communicate like this but I really have been busy lately, and there are a lot of things I have to say. I won't write a novel, though. You're probably still upset with me, and I don't think I'd be able to tell you this in person, anyway. _

_Please forgive me._

_I can't describe in words how awful I've felt in this time that has passed since you confessed to me. It's been over a year, hasn't it? Time has continued to move forward, and I feel as if I'm being dragged by it. I feel this way almost every day, and though I've tried everything to make myself feel in control of certain things, I continue to be brought back to this. Why can't I be the adult, sometimes? It's irritating, and even Nii-sama has seemed to notice my bad mood. _

"_Why do you look as though you've left something behind?"_

_That's what he asked me shortly after my return home. It's a question I decided I didn't want to answer. _

_I'm sorry I've been so dishonest. If I'm honest with myself I can say I developed feelings for you just a month after we met. At first it was really childish and I thought I was just being immature. But it was when you went through such efforts to save me, I cracked. I realized how much you truly did care about me._

_I had fallen for you almost completely, then. _

_There, I got it out._

_I'm such a coward._

_I'm an idiot, aren't I? I can say all of these things now knowing I don't have to look you in the eyes._

_I'm sorry Ichigo, I can't write anymore._

_I think I'm in love with you._

_Rukia._

**And in that same moment I finished reading her letter, I tore it to shreds.**

* * *

**Bleach: Fissure - Tension**

* * *

"In my room, again?" Ichigo questioned from behind me, causing me yelp in surprise.

"I was cleaning!" I responded, a little too loudly, trying to hide the remnants of Rukia's letter from Ichigo's view.

I should have realized how impulsive and stupid it was to rip the letter up without even checking to make sure I wouldn't be caught in the act.

"What's with the paper?" Ichigo mumbled in a bored tone, watching me scoop up the torn shreds of the letter.

_I'm going to get caught if I don't think of something… _I thought to myself frantically.

_Any excuse at all will work. Just enough to get me past him and through the door…_

"Well, spit it out." Ichigo said turning his attention to his closet. He slid the door back and snatched a T-shirt. "Don't just stand there looking lost."

"I…" I started, finding myself staring at Ichigo's bare back as he tore off his shirt and threw it inside his hamper. "It's nothing." I muttered, bolting for the bedroom door as quickly as I could before He turned around to see my reddened face.

"Whatever." I heard him say as I passed. "Just getting weirder and weirder.."

I was tempted to stop and ask him what he meant by saying that, but I had to get rid of the evidence.

_That stupid confession._

_The one Ichigo was never going to see._

"Stupid." I muttered angrily, dumping the shreds into the toilet and hastily pressing down the lever.

As I watched the remnants swirl inside of the bowl and become an unreadable mass, I felt myself becoming more and more upset.

…_Rukia! What do you mean by this? Isn't what you're trying to do to my brother wrong? Rejecting him, and then coming back a year later with this? _

I gazed at my expression in the mirror, almost surprised by the anger present in my facial features. I stood there with my arms crossed, scowling at myself, feeling as though I had just fought off a girl throwing herself at my lover.

_This can't happen. _I thought, gritting my teeth as my eyes watered.

I knew exactly how lucky I had gotten.

_If Ichigo had seen this before me… There would be no way…_

_He definitely still likes Rukia…_

_How can I compete with her?_

I flushed the toilet once more, sending the last remains of the letter down the toilets drain.

_That's just it… I can't compete with Rukia, I can't even get Ichigo to…_

I faltered in my thoughts as the realization of how hopeless I was came to the surface.

_He acts like it never happened…_

_What can I do to reach him?_

_Even though just a few days ago I told him what I really felt, I couldn't really put words together the way I wanted to… I just ended up kissing him…_

And then it suddenly hit me what I needed to do.

…_The letter! I could write my own letter!_

I quickly ran into my room and slid open the desk drawer, withdrawing a piece of notebook paper.

_If I can write everything down telling him how I feel, I can definitely reach him._

_It will be a lot better than Kuchiki-san's. There's no way I'll lose to her._

After finding a pen, I sat down in front of the desk frowning at the piece of paper as I contemplated how I would begin. I felt confident I could compose something that would touch Ichigo's heart, at least enough to make him take me seriously.

I _had _to.

And so, I began.

* * *

I don't know when I dozed off, but I knew I had to have been at that desk for more than a few hours. The sun had gone down and I could hear Karin and Dad talking downstairs at the kitchen table. I drowsily turned to the alarm clock in our room and saw it was 6:53 pm and was a bit surprised that no one had called me down for dinner.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes and stretched as my thoughts slowly came to me.

_The letter... I think I remember finishing it… Or-_

My heart stopped in my chest as I looked down on the desk to find the letter gone.

I immediately became frantic and jumped up from the chair, spinning around in search for it.

_No! _It's GONE! I thought as dread began to set in.

_I know I left it here on the desk!_

_It can't be anywhere else_

_..Someone took it._

My chest hammered as I realized that anyone could have come in the room and taken a look at the letter while I was asleep. There were three suspects.

Karin.

Dad.

Ichigo.

Even though the letter itself was meant for my brother, I remembered finishing it and having second thoughts.

The letter was exactly what I wanted it to be. It was exactly how I felt.

On paper.

_Everything_ was on that ONE piece of paper. I didn't hold back a single thing as I wrote it because I wanted Ichigo to understand that I wasn't just being weird or trying to get attention.

It was important that nothing was left out.

I cringed at the thought of Dad reading the letter and finding out about the feelings I had for my own brother.

I wasn't entirely sure how he'd react, but as a Dad I'm sure he would _not_ be supportive in this case.

He may even scold me, something he had done maybe less than 3 times.

The person who I was least worried about discovering it, was Karin. Although she knew about my problems and voiced her dissatisfaction, she left me alone about it usually.

"Ichigo!" I heard Dad cry from the kitchen downstairs, "What's the hold up?!"

I peeked out of my room, trying to get a better understanding of what was going on around the house.

I immediately could pick out the smell of Dad's trademark spicy noodles. I assumed from this that they were getting ready to eat dinner and Ichigo was taking his time getting to the table, like he usually did.

Then I remembered that no one had called me down to the table.

I saw Ichigo's door creek open, and I slid back from the bedroom door.

"Did you wake Yuzu up?" Dad called from the bottom of the steps.

My heart began to pound as I realized what had happened.

_Ichigo…_

_Please tell me you didn't…_

Ichigo mumbled something in response, and approached the bedroom door.

_Please let it not have been Ichigo…_

The door slowly opened, and Ichigo stuck his head through.

In the instant that we made eye contact, I knew.

The look in his eyes gave everything away.

He just stood there gazing at me with a somber expression for a moment.

My face was stricken and pale as my heart raced in my chest.

_That letter…_

"_**Dear Ichigo,…"**_

"Come on." He said plainly, before disappearing in the doorway.

I stood up and trudged out of my room mechanically, the words of my letter echoing through my head.

"…_**I decided to write you this letter because it's the only way I can say what I want to clearly. I don't want you to think what I did was just me being careless. I know what all of this means. You're my brother, and I am your sister. We're blood related siblings. We're family. I am someone you love and care for knowing all of those things, right? We've never had any big fights or constantly argued because of our age difference. You've always been caring towards me and Karin, and you've always protected us the best you could…"**_

"Finally." Karin growled from the table as I stepped downstairs. "It's bad enough Ichigo takes this long to get to down here, now we have you to deal with too."

I silently walked into the Kitchen, taking my usual seat.

"_**I know it's not fair for me to say this to you, but I care for you more than Rukia ever will. I really hated it when I saw her reject you. I hated how powerless I was to do anything to make you feel better. It was a mistake Rukia will regret for the rest of her life, you know. I'm sorry for feeling this way about you, it's really not something I can control anymore. I vowed on that day to protect you from ever having your heart broken like that again…"**_

Dad looked curiously at me as I sat unmoving, staring at my plate in a trance.

"Don't want any?" He asked, noting my unenthusiastic gaze.

"I'm still tired, that's all." I mumbled picking up my chop sticks.

"…_**I'll do my best for you, Ichi-nii. I know I'm not much now, but I'll grow up quickly and become a woman. I promise I'll be better than any girl you ever meet. I know a sister shouldn't say such things to her brother but…"**_

My hand quivered as I remembered the last half of my letter.

"_**I want you all to myself now. I've already made up my mind that I would not give up. Even if you reject me, I'll never stop thinking of you this way. I'll save myself for you. It doesn't matter how long I have to wait. When I was younger I always thought even though I cared for you a lot, that my feelings would become normal over time. I understand now that I truly do only have eyes for you. I was made for you, Ichigo. I'm happiest this way. You can say that I don't really know what I'm saying, and that this is just what happens when girls become teenagers. It doesn't bother me. I know I can make you happier than anyone else. I guess it's because we're related that I've always felt a strange connection to you. I can't explain it well in words but I feel a part of you wherever I am. That's why no one can ever be closer to you. **_

_**I'm your sister for now.**_

_**But I will become the perfect lover for you. Even if my heart is broken in the end.**_

I cringed slightly, gripping the chopsticks in my hand tight. The only thing I could do was stare down into my bowl, and every now and then I'd feel a pair of eyes burning into my forhead.

I couldn't stand to look up at him.

The letter wasn't ready to be seen by anyone. I had realized that all I did was pour my feelings on a piece of paper. Every stupid thought I had.

Sure, it would make Ichigo take me seriously.

…To the point where he'd think I was sick.

That had to be what he thought of me now! He definitely thinks that I have some sort of brain disorder.

I felt my stomach turn as I imagined Ichigo avoiding me and never speaking to me.

It was the thing worst that could happen.

_All I am to him is a sister… He would never do anything that would make us seem like a couple. _

I rallied up my remaining nerve and managed to cast my gaze upwards.

My eyes widened as they ran right into Ichigo's.

He had this look of mild interest, as if he were contemplating something.

"Hey, Yuzu." He spoke suddenly, his eyes locked on mine, "Could you get me some more Tea?"

"Get it yourself." Karin said, pushing her own glass towards him. "And get some for me as well."

I struggled to keep eye contact with him, but I felt something strange in his gaze.

He was testing me for something.

Dad kept his attention on the TV, tapping his hands on the table in time with the background music from the show.

I silently stood, and walked around the table.

_Doing something like this is normal… _I thought as I collected his cup, completely ignoring Karin's.

_I don't mind this at all…_

"Do you wan't more ice?" I asked, my voice coming out weaker than I intended.

"Nah, just more tea is fine." He said, his eyes now on the TV.

Karin stood up with her cup, elbowing Ichigo as she passed him.

"Don't use your sister as a servant." She said, annoyed following behind me.

I ignored this, and retrieved the pitcher of tea from the refrigerator and refilled the glass.

Calmly, I returned the glass to the table, setting it down beside his bowl

"More ice." He said without looking at the glass immediately after I sat it down.

I waited for a moment, unsure if I was hearing him correctly.

His eyes slid from the TV to me.

"I'll need more Ice now, because you put so much tea that the Ice is melting faster."

I just stared for a moment, trying to figure out why Ichigo was being difficult.

"If you ever plan on getting married, you'll have to be able to do these simple things, Yuzu." He added, his eyes pressing into mine, accusingly.

I simply stared back at him with a plain expression, the gears in my head turning.

_You…_

_You're… Trying to make me upset? _

_You're doing it because of the letter, aren't you?_

_You want to try and discourage me from liking you…_

_That's all you thought of it…You've already decided…_

"This won't work." I said softly, picking his glass back up.

I felt a horrible feeling come over me as I emptied a portion of Ichigo's tea back into the pitcher, and placed more Ice in his glass.

"Huh?" Karin looked at me confused as I passed her. "Didn't he say no Ice?"

I didn't answer and set his glass back on the table.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered to him, my eyes watering.

Ichigo looked at up me, surprised by the tears coming up in the corner of my eyes.

I couldn't control that terrible feeling and I spun around running towards the stairs.

"What was that?!" Karin cried, "Did you make her cry?"

"Huh?" Dad spoke, aroused from him TV daze. "What happened?"

"Ichigo was teasing Yuzu and made her run off."

"Ichigo, go apologize to your sister."

"I wasn't trying to make her cry..."

I reached the top of the stairs just as my tears began to fall.

_It's hopeless._

_I can't reach him._

_The first thing he does is try to discourage me._

_He doesn't want anything to do with me._

_The letter only made him want to push me away._

I angrily shut the bedroom door behind me and fell on my bed.

_I…_

_I really can't do this sort of thing._

_It's because I care so much about his opinion of me._

_It's too-_

My bedroom door swung opened.

"Yuzu…" Ichigo muttered, stepping inside.

"Y-you can t-tease me." I stuttered pathetically, wiping the tears off of my face with my pillow. "It wont ch-change anything."

Ichigo's expression darkened as he watched me try and fight away my sobs. He closed the door behind him and frowned.

"Even if you hate me in the end, I won't let my sister..." He started coldly, his voice trailing off.

He fell silent for a moment, his eyes darting to the wall.

**I picked it up immediately…**

"You have to stop." He said, almost pleading. "Why do you have to go and…"

His voice trailed again.

"There's nothing logical about what you said. That letter was…"

Again.

"I can't see you like that, and you know it so why do you continue to cross the line like this? You're my kid sister and I don't have any thoughts about you beyond that. What you want is impossible, so if you continue I'll have to tell Dad about it so…"

"You have thoughts." I responded quietly.

**I'm not sure how I did it…**

**But at that moment knew, as if something whispered it to me.**

"What?" Ichigo asked eyeing me with confusion. "Thoughts about what?"

"Thoughts about me." I continued in monotone. "You've thought about me."

**It was true. I was 100% sure of it as I watched him struggle to refute my words.**

Ichigo began to scowl, his mood becoming less and less remorseful.

"That's silly, Yuzu." He said, refusing my claims. "Having impure thoughts about my own sibling. Why in the hell would you think that?"

I just observed him silently as I sat on my bed, hugging my pillow.

**Maybe it was that connection I feel I have with him…**

**But some thing he did just then…**

"It was after I kissed you, wasn't it?" I questioned, staring unflinchingly at my brother who was growing more and more uneasy.

"Cut it out." He said warningly, his gaze becoming a glare.

…**Told me he was lying.**

"It's fine, you know." I muttered. "I do love you after all. You can have me instead of Rukia… Even if it's only because you're afraid of getting hurt again."

I say his eyes flicker briefly before they grew cold again.

"I won't turn on you-"

"-Shut up Yuzu." He growled, his fist tightening.

He regarded me with the coldest expression he could muster for a moment.

And then, it faded to sadness.

He turned his back on me, and opened the bedroom door. Hesitating at the entrance, he just stood with his back turned to me.

"Why…Do you have to be my sister?" He muttered sadly, barely audible.

…_**Ichigo.**_

I sat there frozen as he closed the door behind him.

_**Ichi-nii…**_

My heart was racing as I fell backwards on my bed, hugging my pillow in a vice.

_**Onii-chan…**_

_**You…Don't want me to be your sister…**_

_**Because you do have thoughts about me.**_

_**You told me that to give me a clue.**_

I felt relief, shock, and anxiousness all that the same time, somehow.

_**I could see that Ichigo definitely…**_

**It was as if there was an invisible wall between us. **

**I could never truly have him, and I could only express what I could through that wall.**

**As long as there was a wall, anyway.**

**Besides…**

**I've already managed to touch him, even with it being there.**


	3. Bleach: Fissure - Restraint

It's about that time.

Here's the 3rd installment.

Enjoy!

* * *

Bleach: Fissure - Restraint

* * *

**Ichigo's POV**

* * *

I hadn't been able to sleep that evening and simply lay in my bed with my hands behind my head, staring idly at the ceiling. My room could never truly be dark because of that damn street light outside of my window. The light flooded in through the cracks in the blinds and left stripes of light on the walls, giving the room a dim glow that made nearly everything visible.

I really wanted the darkness I was being deprived of, so I closed my eyes.

And even that darkness was quickly illuminated by my thoughts.

My mind wasn't in the right mood to just allow me to fall asleep because I was thinking of stupid things.

_Incredibly_ stupid things.

_It's unacceptable that the first girl who's ever kissed me…Was my own sister. _

_Damnit, Yuzu. She picks now of all times to start something crazy like this. I've already managed to mess up two relationships…_

It was my fault, really… I just had to choose Rukia…

I've known Orihime and Tatsuki longer but I HAD to choose Rukia. If I had just known Rukia didn't have any feelings for me at all…

A wave of emotion spread through me like ice. My face contorted into a scowl as I tried to stop feeling sorry for myself. But it was that familiar mixture of depression and resentment that threw me into the same downward spiral I had been in for the last few months.

My thoughts continued to echo the same phrase.

_It's been a whole year, and nothing._

I contemplated my current state of being and inwardly shook my head in disgust with my own ineffectiveness.

_I've lost my powers…_

I've lost Rukia…

I haven't done anything but reject Orihime and Tatsuki's feelings. I've hurt them because I put them aside for someone I knew half as well as them.

I can't protect anyone, and since I've become powerless I've managed to do the exact opposite…  
I'm completely useless again and I can hardly stand it.

That's why…

…

I gritted my teeth, annoyed with myself due to the sudden impossible thought that went through my head.

_I shouldn't even be thinking about any of that…_

_What is it with her, exactly?_

There's something wrong with her, even if her feelings are genuine. It doesn't matter that she's being honest when it's something like this.

_It doesn't matter because I can't do anything about it._

_There is no way around breaking her heart, too. It's fuckin' stupid. I shouldn't have to reject my own sister. I can't forgive her for making me take her seriously like this. For putting me in this position when I've already made so many bad decisions._

As much as I want to protect the people I care about, I can't do anything but hurt her in this situation.

And now I can't sleep because of it-

I suddenly heard the metallic sound of my doorknob slowly turning. I sat up, peering at my alarm clock.

It was 1:59am.

I didn't know why anyone would try and come into my room this late, but I assumed someone was half sleep and was trying to get to the bathroom.

The door creaked open and I quickly made out the silhouette at the entrance.

"Yuzu…" I mumbled to myself.

Of course it was her. She had accidentally come in my room before, missing her turn to the bathroom.

"Wrong room." I said just loud enough for her to hear me. I saw her hesitate for a moment, most likely out of surprise that I was still awake.

"I..I know." She responded in a small voice taking a step through the doorway.

I squinted, trying to make out her face in the poor lighting. The corner of my room where she stood was heavily shadowed, keeping me from discerning her expression.

It wasn't until she took a few steps closer to the middle of my room that something strange happened.

I saw that her face was unnaturally calm, and didn't seem to display any particular emotion. I was expecting her to have a worried expression, or for it at least to be apparent that something was troubling her.

But there was nothing like that.

She was just standing in my room in her pink nightgown and slippers, hands clasped together in front of her.

But that look…

"Ichigo…" She said softly, stepping to the center of my room.

It was right then that it clicked suddenly.

Her expression and demeanor. The tone of her voice.

"If it was a bad dream, get a glass of water and go back to sleep." I said roughly, knowing full well that it was unlikely that was the case.

_I really can't deal with this right now, Yuzu._

_I just want to go to sleep._

"Can I sleep here?" she asked as innocently as she possibly could.

_Of course that's what you want. _I thought to myself annoyed.

I sighed heavily as what I was dreading came to fruition. I took a moment to compose a response that would flow naturally.

"No." I said flatly.

_That didn't sound natural at all_.

"Because there's nothing wrong with your room." I added, trying to strengthen my reasoning. "You're too big to share my bed, and there's really no reason-"

I stopped talking when I realized she wasn't intending to listen to me at all. The instant I said no she had already slid off her slippers and climbed on the foot of my bed.

I began to realize that she probably _was_half asleep.

Silently, she curled herself up awkwardly at a corner, forcing me to pull my knee's up just so that she wasn't laying on top of my legs.

"Yuzu cut it out." I hissed. "My bed is small enough as it is and I'll never be able to sleep with you lying like that."

"You don't hate me, right?" She asked still curled with her back facing me. "If you don't hate you'll let me sleep here, right?"

"…You don't." She answered herself before I could respond. "You're not good at hiding things."

My eyes widened.

_Idiot…  
_

_She's saying that because…_

_Why did I have to stumble over my words like that?… If I would've just gone into her room, apologized, and told her she should stop…_

_But I had to screw up that part._

_She picked it up, too._

'_Why do you have to be my sister?' _

_What the hell kind of thing is that to say? I couldn't just LEAVE. She definitely took it as, 'If only you weren't my sister…'_

Idiot! This is my fault for talking like a creep.

I scowled down at Yuzu as she stretched herself just enough to take up the room I had given her.

_She knows I was hesitating. _

_I can't believe what an awful brother I'm being… If I'm not firm with her she'll only get more and more confident…_

"Ichi-nii…" She murmured sleepily, rolling over to face me. "What if…"

I could see the fatigue in her eyes as she lay on her side looking up at me. But even though I knew she was only half there, my heart began to pound for some reason. I could barely manage to return her gaze as she propped herself up on her elbow, watching me in my uneasiness.

_Where the hell did all of this forwardness come from? Is it because you're tired? Do you even know.._

"What if I wasn't your sister?" She whispered in an unnatural tone, sending a chill down my back that made me flinch slightly.

"Stop talking." I said, thoroughly unnerved by the atmosphere she was causing. "If you came in here to start with this…"

"But Ichigo you asked me." She continued in a hushed voice.

She was now on all fours, frowning at me accusingly.

"You said 'Why do you have to be my sister?'. So did you mean…"

"I didn't mean anything by that, Yuzu." I frowned back, "I already told you to stop this, alright?"

"You won't tell me the truth, though…"

"There is NOTHING to tell."

"Ichigo…"

"Yuzu…"

I sat staring back at her unsure of how to defend myself.

"I know you meant something else when you said it." She mumbled as she crawled up beside me.

"Can't you just drop this?" I pleaded, aware that my attempts to deflect her accusations were becoming frail.

My own fatigue was becoming more evident.

"What are you doing?" I asked she came nearer.

She didn't respond as she pulled back my covers and maneuvered herself under my sheets. Once she had settled in beside me she rested her head on my pillow and looked up at me with an eerily unexpressive face.

"I want to sleep with you." She said simply. "You're my brother, so it's okay if I sleep here every once in a while."

"That's not true." I argued, trying to think of a way to convince her to leave. "It's not normal when you're as old as you are. You've never slept here when you were younger, and right now your body is changing-"

"-What do you mean?" Yuzu asked abruptly, cutting me off.

"Your body. It's…Changing." I muttered, aggravated that she didn't understand me immediately. "It's just that your body is different now, and in this cramped space…"

Yuzu sat up suddenly, holding the covers over her chest. She looked up at me with a concerned expression, and even in the poor lighting I could suspect that she her face was reddening.

"You've been…Looking there?" She questioned, sounding worried.

…

"I JUST mean that my bed isn't big enough to share with you and not bump into-"

"-_Pervert!_" Yuzu hissed, clutching the covers even tighter. "D-don't say things like that!"

"It's the truth." I continued, seeing a tasteless opportunity to have my bed to myself again. I figured if I could make her feel uncomfortable enough, she would leave voluntarily.

"I toss and turn a lot in my sleep, and we might end up in a compromising position."

Yuzu's mouth opened slightly as I went on, and it was becoming more obvious that she was blushing.

"So it's really a bad idea if we sleep together in such a small space, right? It'll be uncomfortable for both of us."

She stared at me for a moment frowning, and then glanced down at herself.

_She can be unbearably innocent, sometimes… _I thought as I watched Yuzu look as if she were trying to decide on something. She stared down into her lap for a while as I studied her nervous expression, slightly amused.

_Maybe she's starting to realize… The differences between us._

_After all, she should understand I'm almost an adult now, and-_

"Ichigo does notice my body, then." She said in a small voice."… Wait, what?"

I looked at her confused, as she gazed up at me, bashfully.

Suddenly, she slid her legs from under the sheets and sat on the side of the bed with her back towards me.

"I know you're lying about how you sleep…" She said calmly, "I've seen you sleep… I-I come into your room at night sometimes, it's just that you're never awake…"

"Yuzu, how often do you sneak in here?" I asked, curious as to how often I was being watched while I slept.

"Not that often!" She quickly responded, "…Maybe three of four times a week…"

"That's too much!" I exclaimed in shock. "You come in here just to watch me _sleep_?!"

Yuzu spun around to face me, her eyes wide, looking embarrassed. "It's not like that! It's because…"

She trailed off as she failed to come up with an excuse.

_It's true then._

_What the hell is wrong with her?_

"I go to sleep here, too!" She cried, pointing to my closet. "Sometimes I fall asleep in there, where Rukia used to sleep…"

"Why?" I demanded, "What's with you doing all of these strange things, anyway?"

"…It's wrong, right?" She murmured sadly, twirling a lock of her hair with her finger. "You…Think I'm a bad sister."

_Not bad, just incredibly strange. _I thought as I watched the small form on the edge of my bed in disbelief.

_She can't be this obsessed with me. It doesn't add up at all. _

"Why do you like me the way you do, Yuzu?" I asked, feeling awkward.

I saw her back flinch at my question.

For a few minutes she just sat staring at my closet door, unmoving. After a while I considered telling her to forget about it, and to just go to sleep. If the question was taking her that long to answer, I knew I didn't want to hear her response.

"Everything." She muttered quietly.

The finality in her tone left a strange impression on me.

I wasn't satisfied with the simplicity of her answer and contemplated demanding her to be more specific, but I figured it was pointless. Whatever it was she found suitable in me was probably something she wouldn't be able to describe in words.

"Because I'm…A bad sister." She whispered sorrowfully. "I shouldn't think this way but I do."

I shook my head and sighed.

_Maybe telling the old man about this would be the best idea… _

_I can't do anything about this…_

_I really can't._

"Have you tried talking to Dad about this?" I asked, fearing the question would upset her.

Once again she didn't respond for a while, and left my question hanging in the air.

"Is that what you want me to do?" She muttered sadly.

_I want you to stop making me think about this kind of thing. _

"Well what do you want _me_ to do?" I asked, deciding to see what exactly she was expecting from me.

"I guess I'm supposed to act like you're _not_my sister? You can't just pick me-"

"-It's not because you're my brother!" Yuzu cried turning back to me angrily. Her eyes were watery as she glared at me.

For the second time in less than 24 hours I had said something that brought her to tears.

_**So it looks like things are going to be my fault, again.**_

"You don't have to keep saying it because I know that part already!" she went on, trying her hardest to keep herself together as she jerkily wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeves.

"I c-can't help it that we're related!"

"Keep your voice down." I urged through my clenched jaw.

"You're the worst." She cried, lifting herself up from the bed.

I leaned across the bed and grabbed her arm just before she stepped out of my reach. She looked back at my seething expression and froze.

_**What a pain.**_

"What…Do you want…Me to do?" I asked again.

_**You're the last one who should be giving me a headache.**_

"Go on, tell me." I urged, determined not to relinquish my grasp until I got her to answer me properly. "You wanted me to take you seriously, so I am."

_**You're the one who's supposed to always be cheerful.**_

"I'm suppose to consider this?"

_**All of this time, you were attached to me…**_

_**It should have been in a normal way.**_

"You want me to start dating you or something?" I asked as I shook my head. "What makes you think I want any of that?"

"You think you can protect me? From what? I don't need Rukia, theres no reason to make a big deal about it. Who gives a shit if she rejected me. It happens."

I struggled to continue my rant, as the words I was throwing just to sound upset began to hold more meaning than I wanted them to.

_**You can't expect me to believe that all this time you've been admiring me strangely like this.**_

_**What the hell did I do? I didn't ask for your attention.**_

_**All this time you seemed normal and this is the kind of thing you wanted?**_

"I'm not some amazing person, no matter what you think." I spat.

Yuzu still had tears rolling down her cheeks, but it was clear she had stopped crying.

She was now studying me intently as I spoke, as If she had heard something in my words that interested her enough to forget why she was upset. I looked back at her, my frown melting into a tired look of resignation.

_**How can you keep this up?**_

_**Knowing that you can't realistically have the person you want? **_

_**How were you able to smile all of this time?**_

I realized that I had gone silent and my gaze fell from hers.

My grip on her wrist slackened.

"Ichi-nii…" I heard her murmur affectionately.

_**I can't stand this feeling, so how are you able to put up with it?**_

_**Are you really stronger than I am?  
**_

"Go to bed." I muttered, letting go of her.

Before I had time to push myself back up from my outstretched position, Yuzu had thrown herself into me, effectively pinning me on my back.

"If you're hurt, then you should cry too." She said softly, lying on top of me "I'll help you feel better."

I didn't respond to her as I lay there in her warmth, feeling the calm settling over me almost as if it were summoned by her words. I simply lay sprawled on my back as she wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head on my chest.

Although I had no inclination to cry, I was grateful of her gesture.

"It's alright." I said in a hush, not quite sure who I was comforting. "These things happen…"

"I love you." She whispered, tightening her embrace.

_**You pick now of all times to start something like this. When I'm in my most pathetic state.  
Maybe you know that, and that's the reason you're trying so hard right now…**_

_**Regardless…**_

"I love you, too." I muttered, unable to leave my sisters words to float by themselves.

I remember lying there for a few minutes, feeling more at ease than I had felt in a long time.

_**It's not just you, Yuzu…**_

…

_**For giving this any thought and not refusing you right away….**_

_**I'm a bad brother.**_

_**But sometimes these things happen.**_

_****__**They just never end well.  
**_


	4. Bleach: Fissure - Resolve

I've decided to play the POV's up evenly, having the first two being from Yuzu's perspective and these latest two being from Ichigo's. I'll probably continue that pattern, not sure at this point.

But anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Bleach: Fissure

* * *

**Ichigo's POV**

* * *

Normally I'd sleep in on a Saturday morning but I got out of the house around 6 am deciding to take a jog. I felt I had to do something with myself because I found it hard to sleep soundly. I kept waking up sporadically feeling restless and uneasy, so my remedy to that was fresh air. In nothing more than a pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt, I made a steady pace around the block, relishing in the cool silence of the early hours of the day.

As I made my 2nd lap through the neighborhood, I brooded on the things that were immediately on my mind and realized that none of it seemed to be good or remotely positive. Sure, I had things to be thankful for and I wasn't really having a bad life, but I couldn't stop myself from only dwelling on negative.

The ailment of not having shinigami powers was something that needed some effort to adjust to. My entire life I've been able to see ghosts and I've always had some level of supernatural competence. Losing that _gift_ was always something I thought would be a positive thing. I knew the guilt I had over the way my mom died would never fade regardless of whether I lost my spiritual senses, but out of bitterness I wanted nothing to do with it. It happened _because _of my awareness, and I never wanted to draw the attention of those creatures again. Of course as time went on, I began to realize that I'd need these abilities to protect my family.

The most crushing blow to my existence…

The inability to protect.

I realized I couldn't be at ease without being able to support the people I cared for.

So for a year, my life has been overshadowed by this.

And there is not a damn thing I can do it about it.

That was the main issue I was having with myself. The thing I had to come to terms with but couldn't. That and the fact that the woman I had feelings for didn't seem to care if we never saw each other again.

My jogging pace slowed to a walk as a grim smirk came across my face.

_I'm doing it again… Thinking about that midget. _

_It's a damn shame, really. Isn't there something guys do to get over girls? Should I just haphazardly get involved with some other girl from school?_

_Even if I'm not interested?_

Patch things up with Tatsuki, maybe? She's already supposedly seeing some guy from another school.

_She may still be willing…_

…_Wow._

I chuckled scornfully at myself as I trudged up the sidewalk towards the house, amused at how ridiculous I was being. I had occupied any remotely romantic feelings I had on Rukia, and now that she was out of the picture the feelings seemed to scatter, willing to latch onto just about anything that could fill the void.

"Morning, Ichigo." A small drowsy sounding voice greeted as I stepped through the front door.

* * *

Resolve

* * *

I halted at the door for a moment, a little surprised to see Yuzu up and fully dressed so early in the morning.

"Morning." I answered, eyeing the yellow apron she was wearing over her light blue t-shirt and white skirt. There was a distinct aroma of eggs and miso as she stirred the contents of the rice cooker.

I walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the table, wiping beads of sweat off my forehead with my shirt.

"You look tired." I commented, standing back up abruptly to help Yuzu move the container from the counter.

"I'm ok!" She said cheerfully lifting the container on her own before I could assist her. She sat it on the table and retrieved a bowl from the cabinet. She gave me a bright smile and yawned as she filled the bowl with rice.

"Thanks for letting me sleep with you. It wasn't so bad, was it?"

_Yeah…_

_About that._

I nodded silently as Yuzu sat the bowl in front of me and took a seat in the chair directly across from mine.

I took a pair of chop-sticks from the center of the table and snapped them apart, the strange stirring in my stomach growing more and more prominent. Gazing down in my bowl, I considered what exactly I was going to do about my sister's infatuation over me. That night as she slept soundlessly beside me I remained awake for a few hours as restless thoughts continued to keep my eye lids from shutting. I understood that I needed to keep a healthy relationship up with the _appropriate _boundaries. As smart as I knew Yuzu was, she was still only thirteen which meant she would be very vulnerable in these situations. It was then that it struck me that I was most likely the first guy she'd ever confessed to.

As much as I wanted things to be normal between us, I knew I was dealing with something delicate.

I glanced up from my bowl and flinched, seeing that Yuzu had been staring at me with an almost longing expression on her face. My chop sticks slid out of my hand and I fumbled around picking them back up off the floor, banging the top of my on the table as I came back up.

"Damnit." I hissed, rubbing my head as Yuzu giggled at my clumsiness.

"You're the one that's tired, Ero-nii"

"What?" I mumbled in an aggravated toned, annoyed with how I was unable to compose myself.

"What's with calling me that?"

"What were you thinking about just now?" Yuzu asked playfully, crossing her arms.

"Nothing like _that_." I muttered scowling, guessing what she meant. I grabbed the remote to the TV, determined to give myself a distraction.

"Well what _do_ you think of me?" She asked before I could get the volume to the TV high enough to hear.

I met her gaze once again, hoping the strange churning in my stomach would dissipate. There was an awkward moment in time that we held still watching each other. After a few moments of this Yuzu's face reddened and she quickly whipped her head towards the TV, pretending to take interest in whatever was on.

_She's still trying relentlessly, I see… _I thought, letting out a low sigh.

I've got to get a handle on this without hurting her feelings too badly…

"Yuzu…" I muttered, struggling to put together the right words.

"If you want to tell dad, you can." Yuzu murmured, her eyes on the Television. "That's what you want to do, so go ahead."

I studied her face for a moment, unsure if she was truly suggesting that, or trying some kind of well executed reverse psychology. As much as I knew telling Dad was actually a great idea considering I didn't know how to handle it, the conversation was still going to be uncomfortable. There was a pretty high chance he wasn't going to take me seriously, and that would annoy me to no end.

Of course there was also something else that bothered me.

"I'm not telling dad anything." I finally answered, feeling uneasy even as I said it. I stood up and slid my bowl in front of Yuzu.

"You can finish it, I'll eat a little later." I said, ruffling her hair as I passed. "I'm not hungry this-"

"-Then I'll tell him." She said quietly.

I turned around and faced her, looking somewhat confused.

"…You're going to tell Dad…You want to be _more_ than just my sister?" I asked, watching her take in a mouth full of the rice I had given her. She finished chewing and turned to me, looking cheerful.

"I have to don't I? It's something he should know about. Even if he scolds me for it I want him to know the truth, too. Maybe he'll see things my way."

I winced at the thought of the old man forcing me to date my sister against my will. As absurd as it was, Kurosaki Isshin was an equally absurd man, and it was possible under some demented concoction of logic, that I'd be forced keep my sister happy under any circumstances.

_If I tell him, he'll probably brush me off._

_If she tells him, there is the off chance that he'll encourage it out of stupidity. I can't see him making a serious decision about this until he knows how serious she actually is. But by that time…_

"If you'd just admit you've thought about me…" Yuzu murmured.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." I snapped. "And why do you keep saying that so confidently?"

I walked behind her and placed a hand on the back of her chair.

"You know…" I whispered, leaning in just over her shoulder, "Maybe I've already found someone else at school that I like. What would you do then? Would you stop if I got involved with someone?"

Yuzu frowned in response, setting her chop sticks down on the table. She slid her chair back, and stood up so that she was facing me.

For a long moment she simply frowned up at me, an expression that I couldn't help but find amusing.

Yuzu's mad face was hilariously cute.

"Don't worry." I went on with a smirk, "With that kind of cute expression, I'm sure you can convince Dad to take you seriously."

Very gradually her expression changed.

My grin slowly faded.

_That expression again._

_What the hell?_

I was too thrown off to mask my worry as my sister gave me that damned unreadable stare.

_What's with that all-knowing look, damnit._

_It's… Invasive. Like she really does know something._

_But that's impossible. She can't just look at me and tell…_

_I…_

Yuzu unexpectedly placed a hand on my chest.

"It's beating really fa-"

"-Knock it off." I growled, swiftly knocking her hand away. I turned on my heel and wordlessly headed for the stairs.

_I've had enough of this shit. _

_That weird atmosphere around her when she looks at me like that. I can't even think straight._

"See!" Yuzu said following behind me me. "It's ok if you're undecided about me. I'm happy you don't dislike me!"

"Is that what you think this is?" I spat, feeling my face growing hot despite it all. I stepped into my room and immediately closed the door behind me without looking back.

_Damnit! What gives? How does that keep happening every time?  
…_

…

_No._

_**I can't let that be the answer**_

"Ichigo. I'm sorry…" a voice whined on the other side of the door.

_**It doesn't matter. **_

_**If I allow myself to think like that for even a moment…**_

"I'm really sorry."

_**What's the point of hesitating like that?**_

_**Things will only get worse if I can't…**_

"Ichigo-"

I swung open the door.

"Stop whining." I growled, pulling her inside by the arm.

"Onii-"

"-Shut up and sit down." I said closing the door.

"But-"

"Sit _down_." I commanded, silencing her.

Yuzu bit her bottom lip and dropped onto my bed with her arms folded, looking upset.

_**So I'm going to get to the root cause of the confusion. Because there is no way I'm going to be taken off guard like this by my little sister. I've been showing weakness, it's true. If I can't admit it then it'll only get worse.**_

I watched her pouting expression for a while with a bored look as I decided how I was going to go about doing the unthinkable.

I had resolved to do it.

So I told her.

"You're right." I started, leaning against the wall, "I've thought about you as more than a sister."

Yuzu's eyes lit up as she opened her mouth to speak but I held up a hand to silence her.

"I'm only being honest. I'm not saying I have feelings for you like that. I'm just admitting that I've given it some thought. So listen…"

I deliberately gazed into her eyes, wanting to get my message across as clearly as I could.

"There is no chance in hell. You're my sister. That's final. You're being selfish, you know. Don't you care about how dad would feel if his daughter and son were into some incestuous crap?"

I stopped, seeing that Yuzu had gone red and cast her gaze to the ground, most likely playing out whatever perverted scenario her innocent mind could muster.

"So there it is. You were right. I have thought of us becoming of a couple and I've decided it's not going to happen."

"But it's not because you don't like me…" Yuzu said dreamily, almost in awe. "It's just because of what people would say?"

"I've always liked you as a _sister_." I clarified taking a seat beside her on the bed. "It's just with you kissing me and giving me that confession I was surprised. I would feel the same way if it were Karin because I care about you guys and wouldn't want to hurt either of you."

_This is better. _I thought to myself, feeling confident.

_This is a mature response._

I felt Yuzu's hand slide over mine as she looked down at her feet.

"One more time then…" She murmured.

I furrowed my brow, not understanding.

"One more what?"

"Kiss." She finished weakly, as if the word had taken the breath out of her. She looked up at me now gripping my hand firmly.

…

"Just to make sure." She whispered as she began to lean towards me.

I swallowed hard as her pleading eyes begged me to concede.

And all too suddenly, my resolve vanished and that strange feeling returned.

I froze.

_How can she even manage to look at me so passionately like that…_

_What did I do to win her heart like this?_

I felt her place a hand on my cheek as she drew herself even closer.

_I'm hesitating again. I have to…_

Slowly without realizing it I was leaning towards her, being pulled into her magnetic aura.

_**If I do this...**_

Yuzu's breath brushed against my lips as she came inches from my face.

The gap between us closed suddenly, and my lips met hers.

And to my surprise, the one that closed the gap, was _me_.

Yuzu let out a muffled cry of surprise, but continued to hold herself against me so that our lips kept contact.

Time held wickedly still.

"Ichigo-" Yuzu started to say, breathlessly.

"-S-Sorry." I stammered, pushing her away and turning from her abruptly. The tossing and turning in my stomach was near unbearable as I realized what had just happened.

"Don't tell Dad." I said blankly, running my hands through my hair stressfully.

I glanced over at Yuzu as I said that and her face went red as a tomato.

Even _she _was aware of the situation now. My face was definitely giving everything away.

_Great. That's the nail in the coffin._

I've officially made a move on my sister.

"My eggs!" she said suddenly, shooting up from the bed, her movements overly animated.

"I-I should definitely go check and make sure they…That they are still there!"

I didn't answer her feeble attempts to excuse herself from the scene and kept my gaze in my lap.

Yuzu trotted out of my room leaving me alone and beside myself.

_**I wonder if mom's watching this right now, turning in her grave.**_ I thought morbidly, gripping my head with both hands.

_**Forgive me for being an idiot, mom.**_

_**I didn't plan any of this.**_

_**I'm sorry about that.**_

"Damnit!" I growled as I realized an important detail.

_If Yuzu tells Dad, It's no longer "Hey dad, I kissed Ichigo. I'm in love with my him. What should I do?"_

_It's now, "Hey dad, Ichigo kissed me, and I am in love with him. What should WE do?"_

I slid up from my bed and dragged myself to my dresser with a shower in mind, chuckling at how absurd this day had been already.

_**This is bad…**_

I knew the situation had changed drastically. Until then I wasn't sure of it, but I could definitely confirm it after _that._

_The problem now was…_

_**My heart has gotten itself into something it shouldn't have.**_


	5. Bleach: Fissure - Consequence

And so I appear again to upload. .-._  
_

I do not own bleach.

* * *

**Bleach: Fissure**

* * *

_Ok…  
…..__Ok!_

_It really happened. That's really what just happened._

_I was going to kiss Onii-chan but then..._

…_.He kissed me on his own._

_**...HE REALLY DID THAT!**_

* * *

_**Consequence**_

* * *

I couldn't really concentrate on finishing breakfast. I kept aimlessly pacing around the kitchen trying to do a million different things at once. At one time I had almost poured orange juice into a bowl of rice because I was so out of it.

So I decided to sit down at the table and collect myself.

… And It wasn't working.

All I could manage to do was replay that feeling of my brother willfully putting his lips to mine, and each time I did so I felt like letting out a girlish squeal.

My face was flushed as I sat there grinning stupidly.

_Onii-chan will accept me eventually. I just have to keep trying! If I can keep everyone else out of the way…_

My grin taking on a mischievous tone.

_I'll have him all to mys-_

"-YUZU COOKED FOR DADDY?!" A loud voice bellowed, causing me to jump and yelp in surprise.

"Ah..Morning, Dad." I choked., annoyed that my already pounding heart was sent into overdrive by his obnoxious outburst.

"It's early, isn't it?" He pointed out, turning towards the clock in the living room. "Something special happen?"

Ichigo's words suddenly rang out clear as crystal in my head.

"_Don't tell dad…"_

"Nope. I just felt like making breakfast early." I said, plastering a smile on my face.

Dad went on about his work schedule for the day as he ate informing me that he wouldn't need me or Karin's help, allowing us freedom for the weekend. I was relieved about this because I actually had things I wanted to do myself and was hoping I wouldn't be stuck in the clinic doing chores.

_I'll have some free time to plan out ways…_

…_Ways to GET onii-chan._

I smiled inwardly at the image of Ichigo's flustered expression as he realized he had kissed his little sister. I was excited that even after all of his trying to keep his brotherly distance, he couldn't fight his urge to show affection towards me. It was more progress than I could ask for.

But it was then that I considered something I hadn't thought of.

…_Does this make onii-chan a pervert? He's four years older, but…_

I shook my head to myself, trying to swat away the negative thoughts I was having.

_What else would Ichigo do with me if the mood was right?_

I sighed, watching my Dad devour his breakfast as he had his eyes glued on the TV. If he had any Idea about the kind of thoughts I was having about my own brother he'd definitely be more than concerned. I had to wonder if perhaps I explained to him how much I really felt for Ichigo he'd see things a bit differently. After all, I wasn't a troublemaker and Ichigo isn't a bad person.

I concluded that if Ichigo felt just as much for me as I did for him, and we confronted dad about it, we would have a fighting chance. That being said, there was only the problem of getting Ichigo to fall completely in love with me.

As impossible as it sounded, that was what I had to make happen before Ichigo found someone else.

I HAD to make Ichigo give his heart to me fully.

A few minutes later, Karin sleepily made her way into the kitchen and helped herself to breakfast, mumbling barely discernible greetings to her family.

"Great as always!" Dad exclaimed as he stretched, praising me for the meal as he usually did. He glanced at his watch briefly before sitting up from his chair.

"If you girls need anything, make good use of Ichigo." He commanded as he briskly made his way towards the clinic. "He shouldn't be busy until later this afternoon."

"His job called again. He's been no-showing for a few days." Karin said, yawning.

"Don't tattle." I muttered scowling at my sister.

"If he's too weak to handle a part-time job now then you two are going to have to take care of him when you get older." Dad warned just before he exited. "Unless he finds a good wife who'll put up with him."

Karin waited until Dad shut the door before she began to snicker at the aggravated scowl I had on my face.

"What's the look for?" Karin teased. "You don't really want to take care of Ichigo, do you?"

"He doesn't need to be taken care of!" I shot back, narrowing my eyes at my sister as she smirked at me. "Ichigo saved Karakura and fought off really strong guys, you know. We all owe him a lot."

Karin observed me for a moment as I glared at her with my fists balled. I could tell she was going to nitpick at my 'unnatural' feelings I had for Ichigo as she usually did and I was ready to fire back with whatever I could.

"Is that why you like him like that?" She asked lowering her voice. "Ok, so he did stop bad guys and stuff, but he's still Ichigo. There isn't any depth to him and he's a straightforward guy. Now that his powers are gone there's nothing special about him-"

"-He doesn't need his powers. I liked him before that! Nothing you say can change anything so don't even try!"

"He will never see you that way." Karin stated with a grim expression. "You're just going to get hurt if you keep carrying on like you are…And if Dad finds out about this you're going to cause a lot of problems…"

I scowled at my sister as I was tempted to boast about how I had just been kissed _by_ Ichigo.

_She doesn't get it. _

_She doesn't see how far I've come and how I'm getting to Ichigo._

_If I keep pushing-_

"-Morning." Karin chirped, turning her attention to Ichigo as he descended from the stairs. My heart leapt as watched him step into full view wearing slim fitting jeans and a dark blue t-shirt.

"Dad's up?" He asked stepping into the kitchen, avoiding my deliberate attempts to make eye contact with him.

"Yep. He says since you're not going to work, you can go grocery shopping."

"He didn't say that." I hissed, frowning at Karin.

"Fine." Ichigo muttered, sticking his head in the refrigerator. "We need stuff anyway."

I stood up stiffly from my chair and stammered, "I-I'll go too."

"Sure." Ichigo answered simply, pulling out of the refrigerator with a bottle of water. He strolled back out of the kitchen without even a glance at me.

"You don't mind if she goes?" Karin nagged, earning the most piercing glare I could muster. "She has dishes to wash so I'll go with you."

"You both can go if you want." Ichigo answered before I could protest as he knelt down tying his shoes. "Just don't expect me to buy you anything special."

"Why do YOU want to go?" I growled at Karin under my breath as Karin stuffed her face full of rice to finish off the remainder of her breakfast.

"Mrrbee rr wnna Spnd trm wrth Ichrrnrr trr?" came her unintelligible response as she smirked at me.

"You're getting in the way_!_" I hissed angrily, snatching away her bowl. "Leave Ichigo alone and spend more time with your new boyfriend, Uryu!"

I had just enough time to throw my hands up in front of my face as Karin suddenly spit out the contents of her mouth in shock, sending rice and food particles all over the table.

"Stupid!" She sputtered as her face reddened. "W-we're not like that!"

"Who's not like wha-…" Ichigo chimed in turning his attention to Karin.

"-…That's real attractive." he said plainly with a blank stare, eyeing Karin and the mess she had on the table. She immediately reddened in response, hastily wiping the rice off of her.

"Smart ass." Karin muttered as she skulked off to her room, making a point to stomp each stair as she went up.

Ichigo shook his head and stood up from the couch, stretching a bit. "It'll just be us then, I'm going right away."

I finally managed to catch Ichigo's glance as I stood to take Karin's bowl to the sink.

I immediately darted my eyes away, blushing furiously at the slight acknowledgment. My hands shook slightly as I reached for the faucet knob, suddenly suffocated by my brother's mere presence in the room.

"Ok." Came my weak response, barely able to project my voice.

_It's strange now…_ I thought anxiously, washing dishes.

_Now that I know I'm under the same roof with a boy who kissed me and possibly wants me for himself… It's nerve racking. _

_If I can't act normally because I'm too nervous I'll never get anywhere.. It was so easy when I was chasing him but now he's shown how he feels about me in return! What will I do if he does something else?_

I took a deep breath and frowned as I finished up the last of the morning dishes, considering what my next move would be. The thought crossed my mind that just maybe Ichigo was as confused as I was, given how uncomfortable and uneasy he seemed when we were alone sometimes. It was all the more thrilling when I realized I could make my brothers cool and collected attitude shift into something else.

I could feel _something_ was there and _that_ was what I held onto to push me forward.

"Ok, I'm ready." I announced as I pulled off my apron and dried my hands on it. I slid on a pair of shoes I had sitting near the doorway and waited for Ichigo to look up from his phone and notice me waiting. A few more minutes passed before his head lifted and he eyed me from the couch.

"Let's go then." He said as he stood, not seeming to pay any mind to my anxious expression.

We stepped outside and I started walking towards the nearby convenience store until I noticed Ichigo was headed in the opposite direction. I turned around started to speak up but before I could Ichigo looked back at me and spoke.

"This way." He called, motioning for me to follow him. I trotted up behind him and kept silent, noting the thoughtful expression he was wearing. It was obvious to me he had something he wanted to say but I decided to let him let him carry on however he wanted and didn't push for an explanation. The two of us walked together in silence for a while, only breaking it to mutter greetings to a few of our neighbors in passing. The temperature was a bit cooler than I anticipated, and I crossed my arms in front of my chest in an attempt to fend off the chill. Unfortunately, Ichigo eventually led us out in the middle of a large clearing behind our house and even the smallest gust of wind went straight through me.

"Needed to talk for a minute." He said suddenly as he looked around a bit, as if reassuring himself that we were alone. He shoved his hands in his pocket and held his gaze toward the sky for a moment and sighed.

"Earlier. What happened. I wasn't thinking straight." He said bluntly, his voice just loud enough for me to make out his words.

" It wasn't a real kiss. It was because you said you wanted to find out something."

Ichigo glanced at me and I narrowed my eyes at him, letting him know I wasn't buying it. He seemed to notice this and scowled a bit.

"I already told you I don't have feelings for you like that and it's becoming a pain having to keep repeating it. We kissed and nothing changed."

Ichigo made a face as his last words lingered, looking as if he were disgusted with it.

"Why did you say you were sorry, then?" I responded quickly, not bothering to hide my annoyance with him.

Ichigo outright scowled at this questing. The disdainful look he was giving me told me he was getting upset, but I wanted an answer.

"Because I realized it shouldn't have happened." Ichigo spat. "I felt sorry for you because you're confused. I don't care if you think you are or not. It's the tr-"

"-You're the one that's confused!" I interrupted, my blood boiling at what he was suggesting. "You kept acting strange today and your heart was pounding too! You kissed _me _because you wanted to!-"

"-Keep your voice down, it's indecent." Ichigo said coldly. "It's humiliating."

I lost my train of thought as Ichigo stepped in front of me, looking me directly in the eyes.

"It's shameful and it's getting on my nerves, now. You know why you couldn't tell me the reason you had feelings for me? It's because you're infatuated. You're just being silly and you should wake up. You know another reason why I apologized? Because I knew I should have told you in the beginning how crazy you were being. That day you started crying, I felt sorry for you and I was already feeling sorry for myself. I thought somehow I could be gentle with you about it but you take it too far and you're immature."

I gritted my teeth at his accusations, my head swirling with angry thoughts

"I don't like you that way. I never will. That's all."

Ichigo pulled a hand out of his pocket and held up a folded piece of paper. Instinctively I took it and unfolded it.

"I'll give you my answer as if we weren't related." He went on as I quickly scanned the note. "No Yuzu. I'm sorry but I'm not interested in this."

My heart plummeted as I realized it was my own letter.

_I completely forgot he still had it._

_And now he's returning it to me because… He.._

_But he…_

…_He's rejecting me._

I then felt every shred of hope I had accumulated that day scatter in the wind. All of the wishful thinking and speculating. Everything was beginning to vanish.

I felt tears fighting their way to the surface. The usual sadness wanted to take over but I knew crying wouldn't change anything. I had done it so many times already. It was what my brain told me me to do every time I was in a situation I couldn't control. The realization of how useless it was drove me to the edge.

It was all his fault.

"Y-you." I stammered, feeling angrier than I'd ever felt in my life. "YOU KISSED _ME_!"

"Stop shouting that-"

"ICHIGO, YOU KISSED ME AND I'M YOUR SISTER!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, red faced and in a rage.

"See how immature you are?" Ichigo said with a dark expression.

"PERVERT!" I went on, crying out even louder. "YOU'RE A PERVERTED BROTHER!"

At this point my only thought was to try and make Ichigo as upset as I was any way I could.

"So when you don't get your way you yell and scream?" He asked, the calmness in his voice further increasing my agitation.

"So what!? Onii-chan is perverted for kissing me and making me think it was ok!"

My words faded to nothing in the vast silence surrounding us.

I looked around and it dawned on me that the reason Ichigo led me out to this open field was for this reason. He had guessed that I would get angry with him and he wanted to make sure nobody was around to hear it.

Inevitably the tears came, but I ignored it.

"Why did you do it and...Get my hopes up?" I whined sadly.

Ichigo hesitated briefly but quickly recovered.

"You can think whatever you want, but you're still my little sister and this is my responsibility. I'm doing this for your own good. Dad has enough responsibility and he doesn't need this to worry about."

Ichigo watched me as I jerkily wiped the tears from my eyes, his expression now unreadable.

"You don't have to forgive me, but don't go making this a bigger problem by telling Dad how you feel."

"Idiot." I murmured, sniffling.

_You just don't want him to know to save yourself, Ichigo. You don't want him to know you didn't reject me right away. You kissed me for a reason and I could tell by how you acted. If you didn't do it because you have feelings for me then you're just a pervert who takes advantage of his siblings._

_And that's something Dad should know about._

Without another word I spun away from Ichigo and walked back towards our neighborhood, concentrating on calming myself. I didn't look back to see if he was following me. I didn't slow my pace for him to catch up. Eventually I found myself back at home and quickly made my way up the stairs with my letter, thankful that Karin didn't seem to be around.

But someone else was.

I halted in the hallway and my heart stopped. I stood frozen staring into Ichigo's room, feeling a sudden ice cold chill run through me.

There, on the edge of Ichigo's bed sat a small raven haired woman, clad in black samurai clothing. She had her head down, her attention on a badge-like item she had in her lap. After a moment she sighed, and with a contemplative expression and fastened the badge to her arm and stood.

I took a few unwise steps backwards before I felt the ground vanish from beneath me giving way to the stairs.

I remember a long fall as my letter floated away from my outstretched hands.

And then nothing.


End file.
